Pause for thought
By Rev’d Robert Parrish
Last year, the Church in Wales decided that same sex couples should be able to have their relationships blessed in church. What are my thoughts on this development?
In 1980, I moved to London to take up a job in the civil service. I began attending the church across the road from where I was living. The congregation was very friendly, especially a same sex couple who took me under their wing. They offered fatherly, Christian advice and support to a young person new to London, who didn’t as yet know anyone.
When, a few years later, I took the first steps to ordination they encouraged me, and when I was ordained deacon, they journeyed from London to Peterborough cathedral for the service. The following year they again journeyed to Peterborough for my priestly ordination and in the evening travelled down to Northampton for my first celebration of Holy Communion. They truly went the extra mile.
Over the years my friends and I have stayed in touch by cards and telephone calls. Sadly, one of them died a few years ago at the age of 89, having lived with his partner for over 50 years.
I have approached the question of same sex blessings from a personal angle, because we are dealing with people and their feelings, not with some abstract issue. Some who take a literal approach to the Bible will remind me of texts where same sex relationships are condemned, principally Romans Chapter 1 v24-27. But there Paul is assuming that all people are heterosexual by nature, but some have indulged in multiple same sex relationships to show their contempt for God. This is far removed from the lives of committed same sex Christian couples.
We must read the Bible carefully and prayerfully; but God also speaks to us through our fellow human beings who like us are made in his image. We must listen to our gay brothers and sisters and learn from them of their experience of being both gay and Christian. ‘The letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.’ (2 Corinthians 3 v6).
There are some Bible verses which speak very highly of same sex friendships. For example, David’s lament for Jonathan: ‘I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; you have been very pleasant to me; your love to me was wonderful, surpassing the love of women.’ (2 Samuel I v26). And then there are the words of love and loyalty Ruth spoke to Naomi: ‘Where you go, I shall go, and where you stay, I shall stay. Your people will be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I shall die, and there be buried. I solemnly declare before the Lord that nothing but death will part me from you.’ (Ruth Chapter 1 v16-17).
It is true that the Bible does not speak positively about the sexual aspect of same sex relationships. But is that so surprising in a book that begins with the command ‘Be fruitful and multiply’’? (Genesis 1 v28). In that context, the Catholic condemnation of contraception makes perfect sense. But I don’t hear Protestant critics of same sex relationships condemning contraception! We have learned that there is more to sex than reproduction.
What we are being asked by the Church in Wales is: ‘Are same sex relationships worthy of blessing? Are they a good thing in the sight of God?’ Because of my friends I say, unequivocally, yes.
• The views expressed by columnists of this newspaper do not necessarily reflect the views of the Glamorgan Star, it’s employees, or proprietors.
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